Imposter syndrome and the question "Am I good enough?" sit in the same place for me. They show up at the same time. They feel the same in my body. They arrive every time I publish and every time I start something new.

I decided at Christmas that I wanted to write full time, give up the main job. Retire. At first I didn't frame it as writing. I framed it as retiring. That is what I told people I was doing and being able to retire ten years early is a wonderful thing. Those that know me will tell you I wasn't going to slow down, rest and retiring didn't mean what it should. That will come later I'm sure but not right now.

When I first had the idea for The Author Season of The Story Behind My Stories podcast back in June, I thought it would be a small, quiet project. Something I could do to genuinely support indie authors, fill the gaps between my own podcast seasons and share the stories behind the stories we all carry. I didn’t expect what happened next.

Rugby is a world built on values. You hear them often — tradition, loyalty, honour, respect — but you only truly understand them when you see them lived. So when I began writing Die Trying, I faced a question that mattered deeply to me: How do you write crime fiction inside a world built on honour — without breaking the very values that make that world special?

Being welcomed into that world, I realised something important. Rugby is hard — physically, emotionally, historically. But it is also gentle. It is built on values that are lived, not spoken: tradition, loyalty, honour, respect. I saw those values in the people I met. I felt them in the way I was welcomed. And I carried them with me when I sat down to write Die Trying.

There’s a point in every writer’s journey where you stop waiting for permission and start stepping into the identity you’ve been building. For me, that moment arrived somewhere between releasing Don’t Die For Me, Argentina, and publishing Thai Die: How a Year in Thailand Turned into a Thriller Novel from the new The Story Behind My Stories series and preparing the pre‑order for Die Trying. That is when I found the courage to leave my job and a 34 year career in IT to be an Au

And then there’s the other world — the one I built quietly, in the early mornings and late evenings, in notebooks, in half‑formed ideas held in my head. The world of stories. The world of DI Matthew Goodwin and Penny Stock. The world where I get to decide the pace, the stakes, the silence.

Some detectives walk into a room and make noise. Penny Stock walks in and makes progress. Her introduction in Connecting Trains is classic Penny: no drama, no ego, no need to announce herself. She simply steps in and starts organising the evidence, computers and the murder board.

This week Thai Die is on promo, and Don’t Die for Me, Argentina is heading towards its full launch on 2nd May. Two books set on opposite sides of the world, shaped by two very different chapters of my life — but tied together by one unexpected thread. Horses.

On Instagram, TikTok, and Threads, there’s a constant stream of posts urging people to “support indie authors,” “drop your books below,” or “share your links so I can boost you.” It sounds wonderful. It looks supportive. It feels like a chance to be seen. Except… most of the time, nothing happens.